Major Geek Thoughts: How to Put the Eek Back in Geek

As a frivolous freeware site on one of the lowest ends of the Internet, Major Geeks does almost everything wrong in the website department. It’s an advertising hell with no room for discussion, ratings or reviews, and sends you to all the pages on the web of programs you definitely don’t want on your computer.

Major Geeks is home to “swag” – a very outdated term for merchandise that matches its name; a newsletter for things you already knew; inactive forums; and tutorials for issues you don’t have – such as, and I quote: “What Does Stonk Mean?” Yep, that’s a tutorial on here. All the way from the bewildering cartoony logo at the top of the page down to… actually let’s be honest here you’re not getting close to halfway down that homepage, it’s enormous; there’s enough content here for you to totally ignore and go to probably any other website instead for your problems.

Here’s how this major geek would improve their website…

Buckle up, folks. I got some improvements that might just make Major Geeks a functioning website. First off, it’s time to drop the logo and green color scheme; it makes me feel like I’m living through Vietnam war propaganda, and we all know who came out on top there. Except this website, which thinks the US won… or that the war is still ongoing somehow.

Anyway, love the cartoon style, but let’s be real here, the website has literally nothing to do with any kind of war theme, so I’d go with more of an actual “Major Geek” theme with perhaps an acne-ridden teenager’s face with terrible hair and glasses that don’t suit him. That’s if you’re still down for this stereotype to rule the show. As for the color scheme, you can’t go wrong with white and blue. Red, white and blue if you’re a true patriot. And to move into a more modern aesthetic, black and grey for all the real geeks who know that dark mode is superior.

Amidst the jokes across the website that ultimately fall flat, there’s a lotta subsections here that include stuff that could be great, but really you just end up disappointed. Let’s take the Games section for example. Click on it and you have a multitude of different genres to please everyone. Then it gets depressing when you find out they’re all games that are at least 3 years old, called “Dwarf Fortress” or “Alien Strike”. I mean, look at the names, they basically spell out disaster. The amount of downloads here is guaranteed to give you viruses – which leads to coming back to the website for answers on how to remove them – only to download more viruses, and the loop continues like this until your computer explodes.

The solution to all this is, well, firstly test your games first before you advertise them, and perhaps review more up-to-date software. Many of the advertised programs are not used due to much better alternatives which anyone who is a “Major Geek” will already be aware of. Instead of being a site for illiterate Internet users, perhaps direct them to better repair sites and methods, and give them content that is worth their time, rather than viruses and scams galore. As an example, there’s a surprising multitude of useless hard drive related software that is trying to replace a free – not to mention, virus-free – built-in Windows alternative that nobody with brain cells will touch with a ten foot pole.




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