With all due apologies to the orignal author of The Night Before Christmas, I bring you "A Geek's Night Before Christmas."

I started this two weeks ago, and gave up on it...but today inspiration hit me, and it is complete. Please forgive me for murdering a classic.

To save the sanity of those not wanting to see a classic murdered, it can be found if you click "Read More" below.

Twas the night before Christmas,

and all through the house . . .

my keyboard was clacking

as I flourished my mouse.

My opponent was moaning on the ground over there,

in hopes that a medic soon would be there.

He’d soon wish he’d just stayed in his bed

As my railgun slowly took aim at his head.

As I sat in my bathrobe and went for their flag

I Was all settled in for a night full of frag.

When up from the roof there arose such a clatter

I switched to "observer," and went to see what was the matter.

The lights of the Christmas Tree gave an eerie glow,

As my front door flew open and let in the snow!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a crazy old man and eight little geeks!

With a crazy-eyed look and a bottle of Fanta,

I knew in a moment this must be Geek Santa!

More rapid than fiber optics, his little geeks came, then he

Burped and he farted, and called them by name!

Now Dexter, now Freddy, now Lewis, and Jasper!

On Arnie, On Sammy, on Poindexter, and Casper!

From the front of the porch to the back of the hall,

Get inside! Get inside! Get inside all!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the kitchen,

A lot of noise, and even some bitchin.

As they raided my fridge, and took my last beer,

I wanted to ask why the hell they were here!

Then to work they began, as I stared there in awe.

Cut open my walls with a tiny old saw.

Strung in the cables, (it sort of looked fun)

And I knew in an instant, "I’m getting a T1!"

Before I could know they were done with their job,

Then they kicked the old man, (who’d passed out like a slob.)

Out the door they all went, The old man went out last,

He smiled, and he grunted, then passed some more gas.

And I heard in the distance,

As he faded from sight,

"Merry Christmas you Geek! Now go frag all night!"